Naturally my blog post is completed weeks after my business partner Katharina’s blog entry has been posted even though we’re usually both pretty much on top of things. But I am a relatively new mom (our son is 10 months now) and things like writing a blog post move down the list of priorities quickly when your baby is teething again and hence doesn’t want to sleep, or your nanny is at the hospital for a week or your husband is traveling 10 days for work. Did I mention of course these things fell in the same week! Oh hey, and we only just launched our new business in April. I am in the lucky position though that my job is exercise as Katharina and I own the barre exercise studio BARREtoned in Notting Hill, London and work out for a living. Katharina and I both try to balance our work and personal life and have figured out a smart schedule which allows me to spend a couple of half days working from home and spending time with my son.
But as other mom’s who chose to work and have children it’s always a challenge of how much I sit in front of my desk and how much time I spend crawling on the floor with him. There is the feeling of guilt when I choose to work out after my “shift” at the studio is done and therefore spend less time with him. As much as he loves our nanny and even gets to spend time at the studio with me when she brings him there, I am wondering: will he feel neglected or remember that his mom was running around in work out clothes all day and he was dragged back and forth between the studio and home?
On the other side there are these moments when I have one hour to work out. Pure “me time” as I call it when I solely focus on my body and me, when Katharina teaches a tough class and I am in the burn so deep that I cannot think about anything else but the relief in the following stretch. These hours keep me sane and healthy and allow me to be a better mother, wife, friend, instructor and business partner - for my son, my husband, my friends, my students and Katharina. They also keep my body strong to lift and toddle around with my son. Still it doesn’t make the choice easier… If you’re a mom you know what I am talking about.
There is the choice to work and be a mother and then there is the “luxury” choice to work out in addition. I feel privileged I get to do both and try to feel as good about leaving my son as I can manage. Some days I do okay, some days I don’t... I would like to take this opportunity though to thank my business partner Katharina for her support in taking on classes early in the day so I can have quality time with Tobias and my husband Brandon who supported me in opening our business and the week nights he rushes home from his busy hedge fund job to spend time with our son and take him to bed, so I can be at the studio or work out. And this goes to all the moms out there: if you like to work out, craft, cook, walk with your dog or read – take some “me time” so you can be fully in the moment with your little ones when you’re with them. XO Esther